Growing up won't bring us down.

Naked Truth

Naked, in front of the mirror
I see my scars -
my histroy, my feelings -
Branded into my skin

This one here - hopelessness
This one - fear
Here and here -
Uncertainty and loneliness

I trace them all carefully
Because I don't want to forget.
Even if there is still shame
My mistakes are a roadmap,
Etched across my pale skin

A map I will follow
To a future where I will no longer need
To cut roadblocks and detours
Into my body to remember them

image from here

speak to me

i wish the world spoke my language.
that is, i wish there were more
idle silences, like
honey seeping over tastebuds
sincere words, like
murmurs of water beneath the desert
gentle voices, like
a breath upon a dandelion.
no one would waste sweet air
on meaningless chatter.
there are so many useless words
clogging the arteries of the world's heart.
so many ugly words.
such things are not needed
such sounds should not have to be heard.
the sounds of this world
ehoe in and out and around us
it becomes so difficult
to seperate ourselves from the noise.
what is me and what is only the hum of the outside?
i filter.
without - how could i? stay sane.
the world is buzzing with things to say
so many useless things which mean nothing at all
how can we find meaning?
extract the lovely from the din, and leave the rest
to the world's eager ears. let them be fools.
let them babble on in ways i don't understand.
speak beautifully, filter the sounds of reality.
dream in flower-colored language,
bees dancing on my tongue.

inspired by this poem here

image from here

The Canvas That Is Me

Deadpan, uncaring, indifferent

These are the masks that hide

a blazing sunburst of emotions.

Color me alive

I beg the muse,

with red in my veins

and blue in my eyes.

Paint the hues of humanity

with delicate compassion,

Don't dash my warm-toned heart

with purple-bruising disdain -

Or worse -
don't leave me a blank page
to endlessly echo my own emptiness.

images found here

droplets of self

image found here

I wish I weren't so trapped in this flesh casing.

I wish I were rather,
an organically flowing form, like water -
or like air.
God, how amazing it must feel -!
to spread into shapeless backbend, boundaryless -
edgeless as eternity,
No solid requirements or rigid containers
to pour into -
unnaturally, forcibly,
trying in vain to fit the mold.
Let me instead splash around that mold,
dribbling spontaneously in branches of
liquid ambition,
until all doubt is washed away,
until all my streams of indecision unite,
under one immense body.

for you

am i worth it?
please listen to me because i am
desperately
trying to show you something,
i'm trying to stay alive.
this poem is my heart breaking on paper
and i want you to have it.

must be the weather.

i've never been "the usual",
i've always been a horse of a different color.
more of an entirely different species, really

sometime i wonder "am i real?" perhaps this is all

just a complicated dream. what then, is anything worth, is anything for

does anything in the world matter anymore...?

but

the sunflowers bloom in the corner of my eyes

and songs are being sung without any words at all

and sometimes things are so beautiful i want to cry
and so there must be
a reason. for all.... all of this

for all of you and you and you

out there, living, breathing, being, falling down
and scraping your knees and mother
picking you up and slapping on a band aid cos
hey, buck up kid, no one ever said this was gonna be a cakewalk.
and tears sometimes too; when i want to hold you so bad that
my fingers shudder at the emptiness
and my dreams make reality ache - and -and -

i can't help but just feel so useless in the rain.

---

erratic freeverse in attempts to make the shadows lift.

it isn't working

image from here

Let's - !!

Let's move
Like the beings we were meant to be
Brought up from the dust of the earth
Voyaging the sea

Let's rise
From the depths of our tragic separation
Divided by the physical
Smash the discrimination

Let's sing
Unrestrained from the bottom of our souls
Uncensored, undisturbed
Like the chickadees and orioles

Let's cry
For all the hurt, all the suffering, the pain
All the widows, the terminal
The homeless in the rain

Let's breathe
A sigh of relief, a breath of fresh air
Feeling free as a breeze
And let down our hair

Let's love
With feeling that's genuine and pure
Care about one another
Soothe, comfort, and assure

Let's try
To do everything in the world
That we possibly can
To improve this life for every woman and man

You are M a g i c

You are m a g i c

Don't think for one second that you aren't

Darling you s h i n e with l i g h t s you don't even know you have

B e l i e v e in your inner brightness

It will be your g u i d i n g light

When darkness comes - and yes, it will come,

Keep your g l o w alive

And save your s o u l

the Truth

To: Tarri

 

I've been bad.

I made a terrible mistake. I hurt my angel.

I wounded mercilessly with selfish, selfish words. How human of me.

I hate that. I am so. And yet I can't. Stop it.

[Just stop]

I hurt her. I hurt HER. How could I?

My baby, my princess, my darling. And yet, and yet -

The holes in my soul are the words I said to her.

What a foolish, pitiful being that said those things.

How desperate, small, cruel.

My dear,

You had been led

To believe I didn't care.

The fault is my own.

I've ignored

Taken advantage of

Taken for granted

Forgotten to cherish

the precious being that is you

We exist in a different world, you and I,

We're not quite like the rest of them.

We are together, always (itsumo)
And so,

I love you
I'm sorry.

Baby Steps

falling

it is so lonely here.

its quiet on the outside, around me
but buzzing with anguished shouts
i n s i d e me

there are thoughts - depressed, hopeless, confused
- persisting.
i try to reason with myself,
"wake up honey"
but their weight crushes me.

what can i do?
send silent cries with the looks i give
fold more into myself - hide
shrivel under the gazes of others
avoid the mirror at all costs
...B r e a k