must be the weather.

i've never been "the usual",
i've always been a horse of a different color.
more of an entirely different species, really

sometime i wonder "am i real?" perhaps this is all

just a complicated dream. what then, is anything worth, is anything for

does anything in the world matter anymore...?

but

the sunflowers bloom in the corner of my eyes

and songs are being sung without any words at all

and sometimes things are so beautiful i want to cry
and so there must be
a reason. for all.... all of this

for all of you and you and you

out there, living, breathing, being, falling down
and scraping your knees and mother
picking you up and slapping on a band aid cos
hey, buck up kid, no one ever said this was gonna be a cakewalk.
and tears sometimes too; when i want to hold you so bad that
my fingers shudder at the emptiness
and my dreams make reality ache - and -and -

i can't help but just feel so useless in the rain.

---

erratic freeverse in attempts to make the shadows lift.

it isn't working

image from here